Not Leading Worship

It’s very rare, much more than I realized.  Today I did something that I haven’t done in over a year.  I went to church with my family.  And it's the best thing I could have done.

The reality is that every single week for longer than I can track, I've been leading worship on Sundays.  Every week I come early to church.  Every week I finalize details and rehearse before the service.  Every week I mentally gear up to give my all to the worship.  And every Sunday morning I don't get to be much of a dad.  Today was remarkably refreshing and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

It was the whole week’s experience, really.  Every other week I’m thinking about songs in my head, analyzing every little detail.  The musicians, the dynamics, the transitions, the length, the spiritual takeaway, tying it together with the whole service -- all of these things consume my thinking.  And this week I got to lay it all down.  And the world continued to spin on it’s access successfully without me!

The biggest takeaway for me was to relax.  Chill out.  Lay back.  And trust in God.  The words of Ecclesiates 2:22-23, as depressing as they are, ring true when “getting the job done” is deified as an end in itself.

What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.

- Rich